How Did You Get So Fat?

Bet you thought I died.

The last time I blogged here was July 2010.

And that’s when I got off the weight-loss wagon and spiraled out of control for the millionth time in my life.

At that point I had lost 65 pounds. 65 pounds had melted from my body but I had only dropped from a 30/32W to a 26/28W.

I got discouraged and I was hungry. I was tired of not having any tasty, creamy, chocolatey things to eat.

And so I gained back every pound. And I’m right back where I started nearly a year later.

I’m depressed and I acknowledge I have a food addiction and an eating disorder. I always have. Where it used to be bulimia and anorexia, I am now a compulsive over eater. I eat to comfort myself. I eat food to cope. I hide it and I hoard it. I eat alone when no one is looking. And it’s not so much the quantity of what I eat but the fact that I can’t leave sugar alone. It’s a horrible, horrible way to live. It controls me at this point in my life.

I do dare, however, to try again to overcome my addiction. My starting place is this blog. My induction date is Monday, May 23. I have an accountability partner and she is going to keep me accountable for what I eat and how I exercise.

Any advice? I’d love to have some encouragement because I am just so weak and scared.